My Relationship with my Devices

It has been three months since my last blog post. I did not know time passes by really fast! I got too hung up on a job attachment and competition in November, then December was on St John Brigade commitments and anime. When school started in January, I got overwhelmed by the amount of work to do that it took me at least three weeks to get myself out of this self-denial and to start treating work seriously.

Looking back at the year end holidays, I found out that much of my time that got lost was my unhealthy behaviour with my devices. I usually get distracted by social media too easily, then I was exploring adult-rated videos (I shall not bother to go into details as this is a bit too sensitive of an issue for me that I am trying to work around it) and got hooked on an anime series known as "Detective Conan". 

As I was wondering why I am so attached to this anime, I think it is because I find the boy detective in the anime cute, so I wanted to continue watching his stories and adventures as I anticipate how he will react to it.

I don't know why but he looks very huggable... ^w^

Anyway, yes I tend to get carried away especially when I start on an anime or drama series. Most of them are designed encourage me to watch all the way till the end  and I should have known that very well. But, without a more satisfying way to spend my time, I end up watching these shows anyway.

I am also alarmed by the fact that so much of my activities take place online and I cannot do without using any of my devices for even one day at home. This caused me to feel more insecure about the fact that whether I am consuming too much of digital media and getting lost in all the files and web pages that I start to lose control of my life.

Asides from all these unhealthy levels and uses of screen time, I have lost the inspiration from maintaining this blog too. 

When I really start to reflect about this, I find that the first time I started blogging was because my father wanted me to improve my writing and use the blog as a space where I can experiment with different styles and expressions. I have pretty much gave up on that when I succumbed to the joy of watching more and more episodes of anime or watch more and more people's Instagram stories.

Many years later, I wanted to reconnect with the sense of satisfaction I get from finishing a blog post, and playing around with different ideas on how to make my blog posts more interesting, just like how I played around with the different functions to create my Instagram stories. Maybe it was because of all the dopamine that I experience when I engage in entertainment activities on my devices, I could no longer feel inspired to write another entry.

Well... I finally realised all about this when I tried to keep pace with my productivity habits (such as writing a diary entry everyday and updating my calendars) and when I start to set revision goals for myself.

Moving on from my devices, I should actively seek out activities that are less reliant on my usage of devices. One way I tried out was to keep a notebook for each of the subjects I study so that I would not need to open up a new Word document or Google Doc to take down some notes.

I should also focus on activities that would do my some good, such as putting in more effort to maintain this blog. I can experiment with the use of multimedia, or fuse it with some of my revision activities to make mugging more fun.

The journey of a better blog, starts with a single step of deciding to do something for this blog. Yes, I am going to start today!

In the meantime, I can escape from the ranting and the endless feed of news from social media, and explore the various blogs out there. I am sure it will help me open my eyes to many more things than being stuck with my friends and just chatting with one another.

I know all the grammar, vocabulary and expression would not make sense in the first few posts, but I am determined that my language will start to improve if I take the trouble to write more things.

In the future, if I ever start to lose steam while blogging, I will re-energize myself with this article on the benefits of blogging:

https://www.emergingedtech.com/2018/04/why-your-students-should-blog-6-powerful-benefits/

This year 2019, let the blogging begin!

What the design of apps are trying to tell us

These are some interesting observations I made in the bottom bar of different iPhone apps and my personal interpretations of them. This is supposed to be a fun post so do not treat it too seriously!

For this post, I am assuming that the function displayed at the centre of the bar would be the most important. It may be totally opposite than that. As people find it easier to reach the edges of the screen, it is perfectly sensible for the more important functions to be concentrated near the sides of the screen. Still, it is interesting to analyse what goes into the centre of attention.

 

This is the clock app for iPhone. At the bottom is a display of its functions. Right at the centre of it is "Bedtime". Could it be that tracking your sleep is considered the most important feature of this app? Nevertheless, sleep is very important,  so get lots of it!

This is the call app. "Contacts" are displayed right at the centre. It is interestingly ironic that this app was supposed to make calls but the keypad was not in the centre! Instead, the most important thing you would want for this app was to find someone from your contacts to call to. 

For Safari, what is right at the centre is the "Share" icon. Though this is a browser, it seemed like it wanted us to do some social networking by emphasising that we share the sites we found interesting/useful to others!

I have removed the screenshot of my Instagram app because it contains some sensitive information.

Anyway, the "Add" icon (or whatever you call the icon with the addition sign and a box around it) is situated at the centre of the bar at the bottom of the screen. Instagram is a social platform known for being supported by its user-generated content. Could this placement of functions be a reiteration of its philosophy?

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Hmm... WhatsApp's one is even more interesting. The Camera is situated right in the centre. So the focus might be on the content we generate! What does it want from us? o_O

Well, Instagram and WhatsApp had similar things in the centre, but these were all bought by Facebook. So, let us look at Facebook now. At the bottom, right in the centre, was an icon that leads us to our personal profiles. It could mean that Facebook was focusing on making everyone's user experience unique, personalised and identifiable. It was all about me, me and me. This could mean so many things that I might not be able to write them out here in simple words. But, I have read that some employers and schools search up one's Facebook profile before considering whether to take in the person. Looks like it is important for us to maintain our profiles so that we do not give a wrong or bad impression to others!

The above may look like simple observations and imaginative thought, but for us to understand more about how we interact with these devices, it is important for us to wrap our heads around how they are designed. In an age where everyone is competing for attention, many apps are designed with psychological tactics in mind to keep us hooked on them. Yuck! These sound like drugs now. All the more we should pay attention to these details and be careful online.

Movie Review: The Wind Rises (Kaze Tachinu)

It was one of the most thoughtful and beautiful works of art I have ever seen with my own eyes. I feel ashamed for myself after watching this film.

This movie is a tribute to Jiro Horikoshi who designed the A6M World War II fighter plane. At word of this, people may think: What is so beautiful about a weapon of mass destruction, for does not it bring out the most evil of humanity? But that, and all other great planes engineered, would have been merely a product, destined for failure, destined to be overtaken and destined to meet its end. It sounds like a sisyphean ordeal - to work so hard for something to be of success, only to have it destroyed and restart again. But the real beauty should lie in the satisfaction gained from inching one step closer to a faraway dream. Plus, if certain things are never to be removed, how can there be more progress and innovation?

I personally feel the most important takeaway of this movie is not about the technology that makes the country which owns it proud, but about the power of dreams and how far they take us into our long, winding lives. A lot has been packed into this two hour film, every detail in it holds a certain significance to this message contained within itself. I did not even understand what its meaning at the first look, but when thinking more deeply into it, I felt that without myself having the privilege to be able to chase my dreams, I would never relate to this movie nor appreciate how important dreams are to my life.

The transversal between reality and fiction in the movie jogged my memory of another work called "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". Even though I merely studied a passage about it in Secondary School, it left quite an impression in my mind. At that time, when I was in Secondary School, having worked my way up with my good academic results, I did not know of what dream I wanted to chase. I was hiding myself away from it. I was even scared of people asking me what was my dream or what I would want to do in the future. Studies, school, work, survival was all that I could think of and I had no interest in what the future holds, not until later in life did I discover how fascinated I was with the future world. I realised that my soul had been a cold dry wind blown over the empty shell of my body, unnourished, uninspired, undefined. Alas, how much I have grown!

The film also gave some perspective to Japan's pre-World War II history. Life was hard. There was the Great Kanto Earthquake, economic depression and a lot of trouble. But it was also a time of excitement, when things were progressing faster and engineers like Jiro were continuously innovating on the next big thing. There was also a bit of insight about Germany and their attitudes toward the Japanese. A lot of these were quite new to me because I did not study much of history, but the amount of thought put into the production of movie inspired me to research further into it to understand the context of the plot, as well as its historical backgrounds.

What was especially important too was the essence of innovation - inspiration. Inspiration always comes first before technology plays catch-up, as what the movie claims. As shown when Jiro was in pursuit of the design of the fighter planes when he found that a mackerel fish bone was in line with the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics (NACA) standards. I also know of many influential people like Martin Luther King and Neil Armstrong who made immense contributions to mankind because of their grand dreams.

I hope more people will be able to appreciate the beauty of this movie, and be able to find it of some use in life.

A Sprouting Idea

I want to create something.

I have been exploring what my imagination can do, coming up with random, meaningless yet beautiful things. I have come up with some random stories about myself, and it can be remotely related to my life.

So one day in the shower, some interesting scenes appeared in my mind. I feel like writing some kind of a novel, or something that I can publish myself periodically on an online space like social media. I have very interesting perceptions about what the Internet can be used for. Just thinking about it makes me excited. But I am sure that although the process will be troublesome and often be frustrating, I believe it will be quite fulfilling.

At the end of the day, I am creating something that hopefully can be of value to others, or inspire more people to explore and exploit what the Internet can possibly do for us. I hope to contribute my ideas and I am looking forward to honing my writing skills.

Maybe I'll start on that during the year end holidays. By then, I hope I'll have a good time writing away! 😄

Neighbours: a reflection

I was doing some Mathematics questions and there was loud music which one of my neighbours started playing. What was more annoying than the loudness was the fact that the songs played sounded quite catchy and got stuck in my mind. I only noticed about this problem today because the music was so loud that it distracted me from my Maths.

I started to think of whether there is anyway I can complain to my neighbours about this, only to realise I have no right to do so because I am also guilty of this kind of inconsideration at times. I remembered my parents telling me to lower the volume of my laptop speakers late at night because its loudness could wake my family members up. I am not sure whether what I am doing in my room has affected my neighbours, but I believed I certainly did cause trouble for them in one way or another.

I should work to become more like Gandhi, to set a good role model for others, before I can tell others what to do.

Mahatma Gandhi and the role of a role model

I remembered this story clearly because the ex-chief commissioner of St John Brigade Singapore once shared this with the Officer Training Course cohort, whom I was included.

As I was not able to remember the exact details anymore, I have to quote from some other sources to augment whatever I remembered. Anyway, The story goes like this:

A mother came to Gandhi complaining that her son ate too much sugar and asked him to say or do something to inspire the child to give up the substance. She felt the boy would listen to Gandhi as the child idolised him.

The pair waited while Gandhi looked at the mother then simply said, “Come back in two weeks.”

When they returned, Gandhi spoke directly to the child. “Boy, you should not eat sugar. It is bad for your health.”

The mother asked why he had not said that two weeks ago. Gandhi smiled, then said, “Mother, two weeks ago I was still eating sugar myself.”

Gandhi believed so much in integrity that he would not counsel anything he did not do himself.

I think what is important in a role model is the integrity he has, so that others will be able to trust him and more likely to follow his suggestions. Otherwise, no one will take orders from a person who has double standards.

That is why from my personal anecdote earlier in this post, I could not do anything until I showed consideration for others.

Extension: neighbourliness in Singapore

This incident made me also think whether we have become less accommodating of each other over time. I live in Singapore, where majority of the population, with myself included, reside in high-rise flats.

To encourage racial and religious harmony, as well as community cohesiveness and bonding, there was a Ethnic Integration Policy to ensure a balanced mix of many different types of people were housed in the same block and neighbourhood. The intention is commendable - to minimise chances of any ethnic enclaves forming up, so people could more or less get along with each other.

But, for myself, I do not usually converse with my neighbours, and I see no reason too. I am usually stressed out when being with other people, so when I come back home, I am craving for personal space and personal time. Talking with more people is the last thing I will want to do. Hence, neighbours to me are passers-by on the corridor, excluded from my social circle.

I am not alone in this, according to this article from the Straits Times, less people are concerned about being good neighbours.

SKM general secretary William Wan said people's lack of interest in interacting more with neighbours could be due to their lack of time.

"Surveys have shown that Singaporeans have longer working hours than others in the world.... by the time they go home, they have dinner, watch the news for a while, then it's time to go to bed. They're tired after a long day at work."

Dr Wan felt various government efforts to build neighbourly ties had succeeded, but "people are quite content with superficial relationships and have not considered the advantages of stronger bonds with neighbours".

He said it was vital to have more neighbourliness so people could turn to one another for help and could also be more aware of suspicious activities.

National University of Singapore sociologist Paulin Straughan said the year-on-year change in figures was "marginal", and pointed out that not exchanging greetings often is not necessarily an indicator of bad neighbourly ties, but could simply be due to neighbours not seeing one another often.

Retiree David Kwok, 67, was concerned about the growing proportion of people preferring to maintain their privacy. The Tanjong Pagar resident said: "If a lift breaks down, such people may prefer to just wait for others to give feedback about the lift. Worse, if there are emergencies such as fires, such people may just think of themselves."

He added: "We should have good relations with neighbours. You never know when you need help."

And here are the findings from the poll on neighbourliness from the article: (information is accurate as of year 2017)

Maybe... if there are more reasons for us to be reliant on our neighbours for help, will the situation improve? For local communities, there are few events where all of us are able to take part in (and still need register!). I have read that in countries such as Japan, people have obligations (or rather duties?) as a community - they have to clean up their own streets as there are usually no cleaners and inform each other of recent happenings in the community via the kairanban.

We still have a long way to go before we are able to function as one community instead of a group of individuals and families housed under the same roofs.

Reflection in the midst of Exam Period

Since my promotional examinations have started, it has been three days. Now is right in the middle of this six-day promotional examination stretch and thankfully it is a Friday so that I can have a weekend to recharge.

After long hours of studying and exam papers of long durations, I have become increasingly tired as I returned home in the evening. I decided to myself that I simply do not have the energy to study anymore and I needed to have some time to myself, when I can consolidate what I need to settle personally. My habits have been paused, and I am not ready to get into another intense study session. My mind is dying to let off some steam.

But, here is the deal - I have a legitimate reason to relax a bit tonight because I really needed some time to catch up my breath before going on. I can really feel that I may be overstretching myself if I press on with more revision. For the past few weeks, is this me every single day? It is impossible for me to get so stretched out everyday because I did not have much pressure outside of preparing for my exams, and the only thing that I am spiteful about is I get frustrated almost every time when I do Mathematics questions. So, I must be slacking.

Not too good. What can I do to make myself feel more ready to study? Or is there no such thing as in the mood to do so?

Let me clarify why I am thinking about this first. I understand that last-minute studying never works for an academic assessment. I have tried to squeeze some facts into my brain before the exam paper for today started but they just slipped out of my mind when I tried to recall about them today. I had to rely on some vague impressions to get through the mind block. I am clear that revising for the long term will yield me better results. Yet, I am not doing it. I just find myself panicking to start a few weeks before a test on the content matter comes out and I rush to finish whatever revision I needed to do.

Is there some way for me to take control of my studying and do it at my own pace?

I will need to work on two things: how do overcome the initial resistance to start studying, and how to have the determination to see it through.

To find out how I can get started on revision as soon as possible, and stay more focused in work for a long period of time, I did some thinking and reflection.

First, I will try to see how I can sustain my focus, as the lack of which had been preventing me to make further progress in my studying. Read on to find out more...

Flow state

The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi   

Source: https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi-father-of-flow/

So, how do we get into this enjoyable state where we can lose ourselves in work?

According to a post from Melli O'Brien, there are four habits that helps one to attain flow state:

Step 1. Before you begin the activity, pause, then take three deep slow conscious breaths. Let the mind be fully engaged in the breath for that time and nothing else.
Personal reflection on this: I find this quite useful for getting myself to concentrate on an examination before examination start. So, before I start to get anxious about why I am not doing any work yet, I will need to cool down first before my brain can warm up again.

Step 2. Focus all of your attention in the present moment. Pretend for the moment that past and future do not exist. Take awareness to your sense perceptions. Be fully present in the now.
Personal reflection on this: honestly speaking, I have been trying to manage my emotions with a smartphone app and it usually asks whether I am thinking about something from the past or from the future when I share about my emotions. It can be quite surprising how past events or future worries have influenced my emotions in a lot of ways. Sometimes, I envy clocks, because they are always in the now, and never had to be concerned with the past or the future.

Step 3. Slowly, with deliberate movements, go about your activity. Make it into a meditative practice but with an intensity of focus.
Personal reflection on this: the state of mind described above really happened during my examination today. I really liked that kind of feeling, so I am seeking to replicate it into my revision. I sincerely hope every study session can be as productive as an actual exam.

Step 4. Remain alert and keep the mind fully attentive to what you are doing in that moment only– not allowing it to slip off into unconscious mind chatter. Be completely absorbed in the activity as if you had just been born into this world. You will find that the activity ‘comes alive’ when you practice it with mindfulness. If your mind does slip off into ‘autopilot’ simply guide it back to being intensely engaged in what your doing.
Personal reflection on this: step 4 made me realise how distracted I was when I am studying. I will usually scratch my body or adjust my position, trying to make myself feel more comfortable. This is totally different when I am focused on something, in which I think of nothing else but what I am doing. I did not find myself making anymore small movements. I guess this is a good indicator of the 'flow' state for me.

Now, I have understood more about what it means by getting absorbed in work. But there is another barrier that I could not quite overcome - the resistance to get started. There will be this train of thoughts replaying in my mind: 'I feel so frustrated and tired' >> 'I can't do this good enough' >> 'Maybe I am not ready yet' >> 'I am going to take a break and stop doing work.' What happens in the end? I will end up feeling guilty about the time I just wasted. Sigh.

The resistance to get started, and overcoming it

I searched, and found an article from Psychology Today. What I will quote from this article is the the meaning of resisting work:

What is work? For purposes of this discussion, think of Work as the outcome of Will motivating Effort to get some Task accomplished.

When work is not easy, freely chosen, or enjoyable, it can become harder to do. At such times, work ethic and self-discipline can come to the rescue. For the most part, these two self-management skills must be learned through practice which adults have had more time to develop than adolescents, particularly early on.

Because most parents find that it takes unending labor to live and make a living. Accepting this hard fact of life, they tend to feel frustrated when the early adolescent (around ages 9 – 13) becomes more reluctant to do work compared to when he or she was a child. They naturally wonder, what happened to Mom’s or Dad’s willing and eager little helper?

The article states that adolescents are pushing off work as they want more self-determination in what they want to do and they will like to do something else that earn them more respect.

In view of this, maybe why Asians are so tenacious and conscientious when it comes to academic work is because there is the strong culture of respect for the learned scholars and people who are educated. Without this motivation, it may be harder for one to study more.

Back to the case of adolescents trying to put off work, as they grow older, they will start to appreciate to maintain themselves and to progress in this world, they will need to put in some amount of effort into the work they are doing. In this case, the resistance is not as bad, but if there are unhealthy work habits that start from young, it can possibly lead to procrastination.

How do we beat this? How do we make work fun like video games, or something that is about as manageable as wiping a pair of glasses?

Here are some tips from zenhabits.net:

1. Become aware. The problem usually is that we don’t think about Resistance. We don’t understand it or even realize it’s there most of the time. We just think, “Oh, I better straighten out my desk … or get my to-do lists in order” or we get distracted by something on the web, or we feel that we have to check our email, or we’re just going to watch this one TV show, or any of a limitless amount of distractions.

Combat this by realizing that you are facing Resistance. Once you become aware of it, you can fight it, and beat it. It can be difficult to become more aware, but the key is to focus on it for a couple of days. Print out the words “Defeat Resistance” and put it somewhere visible as you work. That will help remind you to be aware of Resistance. Every time you do something that isn’t the most important thing you could be doing right now, be aware of what you’re doing.

2. Become a pro. This is the main technique that Pressfield outlines in The War of Art: combating Resistance by turning pro. The professional, unlike the amateur, comes to work ready to work. He’s doing it for a living (and loves what he does) and knows that as long as he shows up and starts working, the rest will come. Approach the work like a pro, and you’ll get the work done.

3. Be very clear, and focus. Before you start the day, be very clear about what you want to accomplish. You won’t be able to finish 10 major projects, but maybe you can finish one important project, or at least move it along to a certain point. Set three Most Important Tasks you want to accomplish today. Once you have those things defined, you’ve got to focus on them to the exclusion of all else (at least, during your prime work time). Do them first. Focus, finish, then move on to the smaller tasks you need to complete today. If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus.

4. Clear away distractions. Don’t spend a lot of time on this, because eliminating distractions can be a distraction itself. Instead, take one minute: close your email program and IM program and turn off all notifications. Shut down the Internet if at all possible. Close all programs except the one you need to do the important task in front of you. Clear your desk quickly (stuff everything in a drawer or something — you can organize it later) and turn off the phones if possible. Put on headphones or alert your coworkers (or family, if you’re at home) that you’re not to be disturbed for the next hour (or however long you plan to work on this task). Then get to work.

5. Have a set time and place. Make your first important task a daily appointment. For me, that’s writing. I always start the day with a writing task (such as writing this post, for example). For you, that might be different. Have a set start time, and possibly a set ending time — you’ll have to see what works for you, but the important thing is the set starting time. And when that time comes, you have to start. No exceptions.

6. Know your motivation. Why are you doing this? Why is this task important? What is it working towards? And how important is that end goal to you? Why is it important? You need to know these things to build up the motivation to overcome Resistance.

7. Just start. In the end, all the tips in the world won’t make as much a difference as this simple (and timeless) instruction. Just sit down and start. Feel Resistance to doing that? There’s no way to overcome it than to just start. Reading more about Resistance won’t help. Going to an online Procrastinator’s Forum won’t help. Working on your to-do lists won’t help. Only doing actually helps. And the only way to do something is to just start.

I must say they are very comprehensive and workable. In particular, the second, sixth and seventh tip struck me the most because they are amazingly simple. I need to figure out why I am doing work, and imagine that I am actually good in this to expect good quality work from myself, and the fastest way to get started is to not leave myself anymore time to contemplate how life sucks and start doing it anyway. I guess this is what Nike's "Just Do It" motto encapsulates.

Applying it in Mathematics, the notion of becoming good at it and applying it to something that can be useful later in my life sounds good to me. Also, I will just treat myself as someone who aces Math and imagine that there are a lot of people who are trying to be as good as me and work as hard as me. In order to stay ahead of others, I will really have to work hard.

That being said, the last step is to really get started.

Final words

Every time, even in the midst of an exam period, I get to learn and appreciate new lessons.. I am grateful for that. I hope my takeaway for me to believe in myself that I will be able to pull anything through and start immersing myself in studying. I believe it will be exciting!

I will continue to work hard. I also wish all those who are taking their exams right now the best of luck!

Everything will work out fine. No matter what you do, have faith that it will be for a good cause!
https://data.whicdn.com/images/247368836/superthumb.jpg?t=1467332802

Pathways

A recent sight made me question what I had taken for granted - pathways.

Thus, I dedicate this post to elaborating how many ways can a pathway be used for.

These unassuming stretches of concrete across cities, towns and even circulating through our humble HDB flats are where pedestrians travel across with their legs. Recently, I have found people who used them for other purposes other than commuting.

If I got lucky, I would chance by a coincidental bump by one into someone he knows.

More often than that, I will usually see people standing on these pathways to play Pokemon Go.

These pathways are also crucial for the visitor's experience of Pasar Malams (night markets). Without them, it is going to be a rough experience browsing through the stalls.

Pathways are multifunctional in nature, are public goods and they connect us geographically. They can have drains underlying them, or be lined with wonderful greenery.

They bring us to pretty interesting places. I was walking from Chung Cheng High (Main) to the nearest MRT station after a meeting and enjoyed the experience of walking. I got to see interesting things.

There were the old buildings that were at least a couple of decades old judging by its brick and mortar structure seasoned with signs of wear and tear. There were the big bungalows and real crazy rich Asians. Then I walked through the beautiful park connector, where people exercising can enjoy the views of an adjacent canal. Ah, what a pleasure to be there on a Saturday evening!

I found an irritating aspect of the use of pathways. Hence, after this paragraph, the direction of this post is going to turn to my opinion of irresponsible usage of pathways.

Sometimes, I get shocked and shaken by a PMD passing by me without any prior "ringtone". Is just someone whizzing by, stirring up winds and leaving a chill on my spine. Encounters like this make me thankful for how lucky I was to be alive. I personally have no objections to bicycles, other PMDs and pedestrians sharing the same path, but that is only when the riders know where they are going.

Pathways provided safety from the busy roads and is a place where people can take a walk and have a chat with their friends. I would not want to be ferried around by private-hire cars. I appreciate something more public,as it will be more interesting because I can observe what others do, without fear of being judged as "kaypoh".

But if I can get injured while on the pathways (some incidents involving collisions can be so serious that offenders need to turn up in court), I seriously do not know what to do. Walk on grass? Maybe not or I may end up on "STOMP" if I do so in school uniform.

That is why I am so relieved when there are stricter regulations on the use of PMDs. Despite that, I still have fears of being knocked by a PMD when I see something as typical as a bicycle on the pathway.

I am not sure how hard the regulations clamp down on PMD users or how effective they have been. Never mind about this, now I have a wish. I wish, to walk in peace. Please lah.

Social Media is an All-out War

Let's talk about where social media calls home - the Internet

The Internet has been a noble cause which contributes to a greater good. It was designed to be a reflection of humanity, to enable us to be ourselves, or did it?

There are many controversies surrounding how we use the Internet nowadays, from cybercrime and fake news to echo chambers and censorship, the Internet presents a whole new world before everyone. This new world can be quite diverse. In some places, like the Dark Net, it is shady, some sites are clearly illegal and used for malicious purposes. At the same time, there exists authoritative, state-regulated site where important transactions and activity occurs. While for some sites, it can be a mix of both.

The Internet also has a lot of other names to it too. No one can quite pin the one that we agree on using, and that represents how people can view the Internet differently. It is also known as the Net, the World Wide Web, the Web, and there must be more of such variations out there.

I believe it is irrefutable that the Internet has been one of the greatest treasures of mankind. However, our use of it might have diverged from what its original intent. It can seem to be surprising that something of such a large scale and has much influence in our lives originally started out from a purpose.

The inventor of the world wide web always maintained his creation was a reflection of humanity – the good, the bad and the ugly. But Berners-Lee’s vision for an “open platform that allows anyone to share information, access opportunities and collaborate across geographical boundaries” has been challenged by increasingly powerful digital gatekeepers whose algorithms can be weaponised by master manipulators. (The Guardian)

 Let's look at a one challenge of the vision for the Internet.

Enter social media, which connects us on a deep level

The first few social media sites were most likely used for connecting for other people, building relationships, and maintain in contact with your social circle online. Since then, social media has evolved to embody new purposes and new vision. It has become a news aggregator, a gossip centre, an endless flow of entertainment, an education platform, a place to shop... The list goes on and on.

But how we use social media can threaten the very roots of our society - where most of us in the real world learn to get along and develop an understanding with each other. Those who seek to destroy this will pay. However, social media has given all of us power to spout whatever we like. Instead of being something that is beneficial for us, it is starting to look like a landfill with foul-smelling trash, or a battlefield where people start to hurt each other.

What was worse, according to a recent video published by Vox, social media is rewarding these "bad apples".

My opinion on this video

I find that it is generally well-substantiated, with the usually dry and uninteresting research brought to life through dialogues and drama. This has been different from their usual style of presenting their facts using graphics and animations. I feel such a means of presentation can relate to its audience better.

I really learnt a lot from watching this video. It has also reinforced whatever I have been taught about social media in school, and confirmed many more research papers on how social media is fallible.

An interesting thing about social media is it has a profound influence over our emotions. This article from BBC Future is worth a read:

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180104-is-social-media-bad-for-you-the-evidence-and-the-unknowns

I hope that while people respect the freedom for others to speak their mind in their online world, we can achieve some kind of balance that makes the Internet a place where everyone can utilise it to its fullest potential for the betterment of ourselves. I believe it should not just be the worst of humanity that makes it to the headlines, more can come from the amazing things people can do to benefit others using the Internet.

Demystifying Carelessness

What is carelessness?

It is something that makes those guilty of it occasionally indignant, at times helpless, and almost always frustrating. Unlike forgetfulness, carelessness can occur even when one has remembered what needs to be done, and the person may not even realise the mistake until it is too late - it just does not come to mind. Carelessness can also be a lack of situational awareness, ending up doing things that can annoy or even put off people.

Carelessness manifests itself in many aspects of life. For students, one wrong operation sign can cost them dearly in Mathematics. For parents, one moment of neglect, and their infant child can be at risk of drowning when they naughtily venture into deep water. In relationships, a few hurtful words hollered angrily can leave deep scars to those at the receiving end of them. In our daily lives, carelessness can also come in the form of leaving important things (like documents) at home. 

I have been trying to grapple with this problem for many years. It has been so bad that I have developed a fear of forgetting things, and will check multiple times just to ensure that I do bring the necessary things. Most worrying of all, I am scared that I will be overwhelmed in my noisy mind, unable to sort out what needs to be done and missing out important things.

Argh! I remembered leaving it somewhere there but why is it not there?!

Source: https://pics.me.me/huh-2-i-couldve-sworn-i-left-it-somewhere-around-26099056.png from Google Images

Why does this problem occur? What can be done?

After reflecting upon my experience with what people call as "carelessness" (it is really general and encompasses a lot of mistakes that is done in real life, such as for myself holding a chopstick by the wrong side), I have observed a few trends.

1. Before a careless mistake, what I usually do is to be in a hurry and complete the task, as such, I have not considered the consequences of my actions. Hence, when any problem comes out of my action, I will not have seen it coming. I have tried to solve this by reflecting on my actions, and try to record my thoughts in an online journal. I have also tried to go through my mind first before acting of things. In general, when I stay calm and is actively engaging any activity with my brain, I find that I can focus more easily and be less careless. My carelessness may also have a relation to my emotions. When I feel irritated, I am already struggling to take care of myself, much less worry about other things. I have learned to manage it by recording what I feel and do some meditation to be less triggered.

2. This applies mostly for academic work but I miss out checking my work another time. I somehow think it does not make sense to read the same thing more than once (most likely because checking my wordings become less important in this social media era when others can already overlook these mistakes and understand what I am trying to say). I can learn something from why people check their phones excessively - coming up with notifications and reminders from a schedule to check whatever I have worked on so far. And, if possible, asking others to help me to look through. To achieve that, it will require a bit of discipline and determination.

3. Many of the times I neglect to do things because I forget about them cleanly. I found that adding visual cues can help. For example, to help me remember where I am charging my phone, I place my water bottle - an object that is important for my hydration, health and well being, beside my phone. This allows me to remember things more easily. It has also been proven by research that adding more cues help us to remember things better, which may sound surprising when the knee-jerk reaction to these cues is the dread of more things to remember, but it works because there is a higher chance for us to find one of the related cue and connect back to what we are trying to recall. Phone reminders and notifications work this way too.

4. Another important reason is because I lack the habit of recording things systematically. Usually during a class I can make notes on whatever worksheet I am holding on to, only to forget whatever I wanted to do with it when I return home from school. I also rely heavily on online-based productivity apps such as Google Calendar but it may not be convenient for me to refer to these apps or systems wherever I go. I may make a mental note but realistically, our brains are pretty bad at multitasking, so whatever I remembered may get lost when I am involved in other tasks. I think it will be better to complement it with a hard-copy notebook to capture whatever I need to remember, and then organise them when I transfer them to my online systems. It will also be good if I can have a separate file for keeping those things I need to complete, so it is easier to figure out what I need to do. Having supportive peers are important too as my friends and I can remind one another on what needs to be done.

Carelessness is not easy to address at all. Unless there has been actions to engage with the root cause(s) and something is done at the individual or community level, the same careless mistakes can repeat again. So (personal take) it is important to take action before it gets worse.

Why a blog?

What makes keeping a blog to attractive even in the age of new media where there are newer and funnier ways to share one's thoughts?

Social media has its limits

Since young, I kept a blog (or rather a few blogs but I did not really have the tenacity to maintain them for more than a year) up to the year 2015.

That year was a turning point. It was when I got first introduced to Facebook. It was still a trending social media platform at that time. It opened a world of possibilities for me as I had much more ways to express myself. A year after that I got started on Instagram, thereafter WeChat. I found myself signing up for all sorts of social media.

At that time, my main motivation for doing so was to connect with friends and connect with reliable sources of information so I can use my news feed for learning something new and to stay informed of current affairs. Another motivation for me was that I am able to get my friends' opinions on many things for the first time, because I was more reclusive and pretty much stayed with the same people.

4 years after using social media, I am getting more tired and more exasperated of it.

I realised I cared about other people's lives more than my own. I also realised that I was conscious of what people thought of me, and that limited how I wanted to be myself in the online world.

The comments section on some websites are also getting toxic, especially when I hit YouTube, look up a trending video and scroll down to the comments section, the comments there will just drain my energy out. There were trolls, social justice warriors, people disagreeing with views and verbally abusing one another. Not that I had anything against them, as they are natural for any discussion, but this incessant chatter going on in the comments had become to noisy for me, and started to disrupt my emotions and well-being.

A place where I could share my views and interact with other people online might not always be a good place. I realised I needed some personal space without the fear of others' judging me and pressuring me to take a stance.

Through my observations of cyberspace, I can conclude that whatever I say, there will always be people who agree with it and people who disagree vehemently. There will always be someone out to get me. Granted, my friends can help me with improving my writing for my posts, but that leads to a superficial picture-perfect curation of posts without evidence of any growth or development.

A journal does not have room outside of my life

I thought that since I could not be bothered to continue a blog after 2015, an online journal could be a good substitute for that. However, I was pressed for time to maintain it because I aspired to record my thoughts and what I did everyday. So, there was not much room for deep intellectual records or doing reflection on various things I feel strongly about.

An online journal keeps my thoughts and agendas safe in a private space, but there are some things I wanted to keep in an open space free from the scrutiny of my close friends. To me, a blog is a sweet spot between the reclusiveness of a journal and the openness of the new media.

On this blog, I need not post about my personal experience too. I can also use it to engage in some research and put whatever I have searched up here. I can use this to keep a log of my journey of exploring new things.

I want to spend my time online productively

Here is the thing about the websites I spent the most amount of time on - they are mostly social media. According to a TED Talk called "Why Screens Make Us Less Happy", those apps and services for our well-being, we do not spend as much time on it as those that consume our time, emotions and energy. These online spaces I dedicate most of my screen time too are designed to set me up for addiction. Notifications, sharing, responses, reviews, likes, comments, infinite scrolling, related posts... There are no ends to it.

Also, most of the time I am just consuming online content. But when I create content online, it gives me more satisfaction. I can watch as many videos and read as much news as possible. I can feel more enriched but I do not feel happy because I am really not doing anything to make myself feel better. All these stimulation is making me more tired instead.

I find that when I search for things more personal to me, I gravitate towards blogs because they give a personal, human touch to things. They feel more real, and more exciting than the news articles we read online. Blog entries allow me to explore more of what I see online, and goes more in depth than the glamorous representation of some things (especially tech products) online.

After years of not keeping a blog, nothing much has changed for the interface of Blogger, where I am hosting this blog on. It gives a place where I can go back to sharing my thoughts, and let my curiosity guide me on creating more content as I expose myself to more of what the web has to offer. 

There are surprisingly less restrictions and less sophistication of this place. Somehow it makes a blog attractive. It is like a notice board, people can still see some aspects of my life that I put up here, just that it feels more retro, where my thoughts can be more powerful by expressing them plainly.

Looking ahead

I wish this place helps me grow as a person and record my interests over the years. I also hope my experience can become a lighthouse to guide lost souls to a safe harbour.

No additives or preservatives, no filters or glamorous pictures, I look forward to being myself, being down-to-earth, straightforward and real.